


You Never Shine If You Never Burn

by leibun



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Depression, Diabetes, Diabetes Type 1, Fluff, Jeon Jungkook is Whipped, Kim Taehyung | V Is a Sweetheart, M/M, Medical Conditions, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Kim Taehyung | V, diabetic, taekook, vkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-12 21:30:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leibun/pseuds/leibun
Summary: Jeongguk doesn't have a bright outlook on life. Living is more like a chore to him. Adding on to the fact that he spends most of his life at the hospital, -his own fault- deals with assholes every day and has crippling depression. That is until he meets a boy. Said boy happens to show up multiple times in his life and apparently knows him more than he knows himself.





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Jeongguk meets him, he can't remember much. The result of ketoacidosis. Jeongguk hadn't been himself per say. His mother often talks about the day where he was officially diagnosed. In some way it was terrifying. It had started with a simple cold that gradually worsened as the days passed resulting in his parents assuming it were the flu. He had eventually been taken to the hospital by ambulance. This is where Jeongguk's mind first went blank.

"You had to be restrained." His mother had said, three days after the initial scare. "You fought the nurses. Scratched them actually." Jeongguk remembers looking down at his hands where he could see the reminiscents of dry blood in his fingernails. His mother had laughed but it lacked humour. It sounded sad. "You almost died. They told me if we hadn't admitted you to hospital that night... You wouldn't have made it."

Jeongguk only remembers patches. He remembers a moment of consciousness where he had opened his eyes to an all too bright room. He had heard his father laughing about something a nurse had said. It's funny how a laugh that is usually formed from something humorous can also be used as a coping mechanism in difficult times. The next few times he came to was when he was in intensive care. He found out this was the second night. It was a big room with multiple beds and an all too bright light was situated in the middle of the ceiling with a circular desk sat below where few nurses and administrative workers sat at computers. In his state of mind, Jeongguk had thought the room looked like an alien ship and for a fleeting moment he had truly thought he had been abducted by aliens and was lying on a bed where he was being prepped to have himself studied on.

The rest had been a blur but it had only been a couple of nights before he had been taken to the children's ward. By then he was more conscious of his surroundings. The room had six beds, including his own yet he had only been sharing it with three other patients present. One was a girl and the other two were boys. The girl had had a broken leg and she had been recovering from surgery. One boy had sinus infection and the other, well, he didn't know. The other boy had been dismissed that day. Though he does remember the boy staring at him as he walked to the door, hand in hand with a woman.

 

In conclusion, he had come to discover that he had been diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1.

"Its an auto-immune condition in which the pancreas produces little or no insulin. In your case; no insulin." He can still recall the doctors words. "Insulin is the hormone which allows the body to use glucose in the blood as energy and without it, you don't produce energy." It had been his second week in hospital when his parents and doctor had decided to give him all the details. "Diabetes Type 1 is the cause of the immune system being activated without reason to destroy the cells in the pancreas. It's not linked to modifiable lifestyle factors. You're just..." The doctor had tapped his pen against Jeongguk's documents. "Unlucky." He remembered how his mother's hand squeezed his at the doctors truthful words. "You're only young." Eleven to be exact. "But you have your parents to guide you. Please listen to them."

 

He was fourteen when he had been rushed into hospital again and when he met the nameless boy for the second time. It was in the same ward.

"I remember you." The boy had a big smile on his lips as he rocked back and forth on the edge of the bed. "Do you remember me?"

Oddly enough, through his scatter of memories, Jeongguk did remember him. Even if it had been a fleeting glance with unspoken words. He had nodded.

"Are you sick?" The boy's smile had left his lips and had been replaced with a small frown. "You must be if you're back here."

"I could ask the same."

The boy had grinned again.

 

They saw each other for the third time in the hospital's cafeteria that same year. It was early December and the inside of the building was decorated with various Christmas decorations and lights. Yet it didn't bring the place a cheerfulness like the holiday usually would. When their eyes met from across the room the boy didn't smile his usual smile. His lips remained neutral, almost a pout. He looked sad.

 

They didn't see each other until the next year, it was July and once again the halls and rooms were decorated in tinsel and lights for Christmas in July. Jeongguk had been pacing up and down the hall idly waiting for his mother to come out from chatting with his doctor when the boy had emerged from a room. His head was down as he fixed the sleeve of his shirt, yet Jeongguk was quick to see a glance of what looked like a severe rash on his wrist before it was covered.

When the boy looked up to meet his, his eyes widened. It had only been six months since he last saw him, yet those six months really took a toll on the boy. He looked terrible. His eyes seemed sunken and the rash also covered parts of his face and neck which then disappeared under the collar of his shirt where he imagined the rash continued.

When the other had caught him staring, he quickly pulled up his hood to cover himself and stuffed his hands into the hoodies front pockets before stumbling off in the other direction.

Later that evening when Jeongguk got home, he sat at his laptop and researched types of rashes and what there causes were from.

Though it turned out to be a lost cause. There were too many cases for rashes. Not surprising. Jeongguk let out a long sigh as he spun around once in his rotating chair and stared up at his ceiling. Why was he so interested in this boy?

 

It was a Wednesday morning, a sunny day with little to no clouds visible in the sky. Jeongguk disliked Wednesday's. The day in the middle of the week that just seemed to drag. To make it worse, Jeongguk had school. Just two more years and he would be free. It seemed like ages away but was it really freedom when you then had to be working your life away? With a shake of his head, he entered the cafe he visited every weekday morning for his usual order of hot chocolate, extra sweet. Of course. How else would he get through the day without a dose of sugar?

"Usual?"

Jeongguk gave a nod as he searched through his wallet for any hidden bills when a boy spoke up from behind him. He knew the voice and he couldn't help but roll his eyes. His classmate, Jeonwoo. "Extra sweet right? You still getting that? No wonder you got diabetes." He clenched his teeth. He was used to comments like these but they still always got under his skin.

"Actually that would be Type 2." A new voice, one he didn't recognise.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, that would be Diabetes Type 2. And Jeongguk here has Type 1." Jeongguk turned around and what he saw made his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He was facing none other than the boy that had been the center of his thoughts. And he looked well. There was no sign that the boy had even had a rash present. Though that had almost been seven months ago.

"What?" His classmate had asked with a look of annoyance and the boy only shrugged. "Whatever." And then Jeonwoo was gone and the other smiled at him. Jeongguk realised the smile resembled something close to a rectangle. It was nice.

He wanted to ask how. How did he know his name. How did he know his diagnosis. Yet the boy was gone as quick as he had come.

"Here's your order, sir." The boy outstretched his hand towards the counter and grabbed his drink without breaking eye contact with Jeongguk and then he winked.

Jeongguk blinked. He really just winked at him. He stared after the boy dumbstruck as he watched him leave the cafe.

Jeongguk never saw him at the cafe again and maybe he was a little disappointed. Just a little.

 

But it wasn't a total disappointment. They met more after that but it was only ever in the hospital halls, passing by each other with nothing more than a glance and from the other, a big smile that sometimes never reached his eyes.

 

He was nearing his seventeenth birthday. His so called sweet sixteen had been a bust. Spent in hospital attached to tubes after having passed out from low glucose levels whilst taking his usual morning run. It was nearing the end of summer now and Jeongguk was once again in the hospital. Spending his afternoon waiting to see his doctor for his usual four month appointment when the boy had plopped himself down in a chair not too far from his own.

It had been a while since he last saw him.

The boy was dressed in what looked like matching pyjamas. The silk kind. He also looked like he had just crawled out of bed, literally. The boys head was a mess of dark brown hair and he was currently hugging a pillow with his chin propped on top of it. To top it off, his eyes drooped close every few seconds as he seemed to struggle to keep them open.

Jeongguk didn't mean to stare but he was intrigued. Until the other had met his gaze and he quickly found himself looking away.

"You!" Having not expected the loud voice from the sleepy companion, Jeongguk startled. "We gotta stop meeting like this."

He lifted his head to find the other boy smiling at him. That big smile that Jeongguk was growing accustomed to. "Meeting like this?"

"Yeah," The other turned his head so his cheek now pressed against the softness of the pillow. "You know. In this damn hospital." Jeongguk cracked a small smile at this.

"I've never seen you smile."

"Huh?"

The boy shrugged, "It's nice."

Jeongguk was taken aback. "I, uh... I hardly know you—"

But the other interrupted him. "But I know you enough." Apparently. "Hm, but you don't even know my name. Shame." The boy pursed his lips. "Don't you want to know?"

Yet he didn't let him talk, let alone open his mouth before the boy stood up and walked the short distance towards Jeongguk, still with his pillow hugged tightly to his chest, and sat himself in the chair beside his. "I'm the one who has come to save you from this dreadful world." He said this with the straightest face that Jeongguk almost laughed until he realised the boy was being serious. Even if he sounded out of breath as he talked. "I'm Taehyung but you can call me your guardian angel."

Jeongguk could only stare with his mouth agape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> This is an intro/chapter 1 for a story I'm hopefully going to be able to update often! As it's an intro, I will be introducing the characters more in the upcoming chapters!  
> The time skips are meant to be there until they get to a certain age.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think!
> 
> Also thank you to my fellow friend on Twitter who has helped me out!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I just wanted to inform that Taehyung is 19 years old here as well as Jimin who is older by a bit.  
> This chapter is somewhat rushed and I apologise for that as I am busy with work but I wanted to post something up. Either way I do still hope that you enjoy and I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.  
> Thank you for reading!

Jeongguk stared up at the ceiling with his fingers clenched into the sheets. It was cooler now, Winter quickly finding its place and settling into the city air. Yet he felt hot and the slow spinning of the fan above did nothing to ease the cold sweat that covered his skin.

It was three minutes to twelve am. Three minutes until it was his seventeenth birthday and like all sixteen year olds he had thought it was a good idea to party hard. And by partying hard he meant playing computer games for all hours whilst chugging down a bottle of wine that he may or may not have took from his parents liquor cabinet. It hadn't been pleasing on the tongue and every time he had taken a swig he had grimaced at the taste as it had gone down his throat with a warm burn.

He had forgotten a simple rule though. Or maybe he had remembered but didn't bother to care at the time. Alcohol was great at getting that blood glucose level to shoot up high and then have it to drop not too long after the initial buzz. What a way to start his first minutes of being seventeen. With low blood glucose levels.

Jeongguk clenched his fingers as he felt his shaking hands beginning to worsen and he sighed. He couldn't ignore it forever. He would have to get up and go grab some sugary food or drink to help bring his levels up along with a carb to stabilise them. But right now he'll let the feeling of lightness take over his being. It was an odd feeling. Completely different from the high of a glucose level. Being high left his head pounding and mouth dry, along with other unjoyable effects. Whilst being low had the feeling of something close to an adrenaline rush, not an enjoyable one per say but decent. That was until he became too low and he couldn't move due to feeling on the urge of passing out.

They both sucked in there own way.

The low buzz of his phone brought him out of his thoughts and he turned his head to see his screen light up with a message from Taehyung. The boy who wasn't nameless now.

Jeongguk had ended up exchanging numbers with Taehyung when they had met waiting in the hospital to see their own prospective doctors, or rather the boy had took his phone straight out of his hands without asking and saved his contact to his device. Jeongguk picked up his mobile with shaky fingers and fumbled with unlocking the screen before opening up the message. He snorted as he glanced at the name the other had saved himself as, 'guardian angel'. It still humoured him greatly that the other was serious about this whole angel thing.

Upon opening up their chat a new set of messages came popping in almost at a rapid pace that Jeongguk had to swipe back up just to read the first few.

11:59 pm < It's your birthday in 1 minute!!! >  
< 20 seconds! >  
< 19 seconds >  
< 18 seconds! >  
< 17 >  
< 16 >

Jeongguk stared at his phone dumbly as the messages kept rolling in of a countdown to his birthday. How the boy even knew it was his birthday was beyond him as he had never mentioned it. He was still trying to figure out how the other had known his name and diagnosis for everytime he had asked him through text, the boy had simply ignored it with a change of subject. They had exchanged messages quite a lot since getting each others numbers and for someone like him, who avoided socialising like the plague, he had to admit he enjoyed talking to the boy.

[ guardian angel ] 12:00 am < HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUKKIE!!! >  
[ gukkie ] 12:00 am < How do you even know that it's my birthday? >

Jeongguk turned on his side and reached for the bottle of wine to take a small sip from, it would be enough for now to keep his glucose levels from falling lower.

[ guardian angel ] 12:00 am < wow. I didn't get a thank you? >

He snorted around the rim of the bottle and swallowed the alcoholic liquid to save himself from choking on it before typing a reply back with one hand.

[ gukkie ] 12:01 am < Can't blame me for being a little curious >  
[ guardian angel ] 12:01 am < still think I'm stalking you? >  
[ gukkie ] 12:02 am < everyday >

He placed the bottle back on his bedside table and sat up, rubbing his forehead clean of the light sheen of sweat.

[ guardian angel ] 12:02 am < sorry buddy but you're just not my type >

Sitting up was a bad idea as it made his head spin a little so he found himself flopping back down on the bed. Once the alcohol settled back into his veins and shot his levels up again he would go and grab something to eat. If his doctor knew this was his way of treating his glucose levels she would flip.

[ gukkie ] 12:04 am < It's my birthday and I'm feeling attacked >  
< also I'm everybofies tyoe >

He sighed and found himself glaring at the wine bottle as if it had offended him. The effects didn't seem to be kicking in this time and he just knew what was to come from having done typos.

[ guardian angel ] 12:04 am < what's wrong? low levels?? you better be treating them! >

Jeongguk sighed again. Stupid shaking fingers. By now he should know to be more careful when typing out a reply to Taehyung when he was in this state. See, Jeongguk was never one to typo and if he did he would go back and fix his words. A fact that is easy missable but for the other, apparently not. It was scary how much Taehyung knew about his habits already. He tossed his phone aside and closed his eyelids, listening to the sounds of notifications coming from his computer that were likely birthday wishes from his teammates.

Jeongguk didn't exactly have friends, not one close by anyway. He took his anti socialness seriously. The only person he could count as a friend would be a boy that he played games with online. His name was Yoongi and they had met through a cliche combat multiplayer game some three years ago. They didn't exactly live too far from each other, only an almost two hour train ride away. But perhaps he could soon start calling Taehyung a friend. That is when the other decided to share information about himself.

His phone buzzed again and he just knew it was Taehyung insisting that he take care of himself. That or he was angry texting him because he wasn't replying so he rolled over and retrieved his phone, typing out a careful reply with a smug grin on his lips.

[ gukkie ] 12:10 am < too late, I have succumbed to death >

It wasn't but a second later when his phone lit up notifying him that his guardian angel was calling him and he grinned in amusement which turned into full out laughter as Taehyung's voice came booming out from the other end when he answered it. Not even a greeting.

"Fuck you!"

"What's wrong?" Jungkook's laugh died down to breathy chuckles. "I usually date first."

"You've never had a date in your life so—"

He choked on his words, groaning afterwards, "How do you know everything about me?" He heard Taehyung's low giggles through the receiver and he couldn't help but smile at the sound.

"Actually I just assumed but thanks for proving my assumption right." Jeongguk let out another groan at this. "But seriously Gukkie. Have you treated your low?"

"I will. I'm just... Comfortable." He heard Taehyung sigh and he knew that was the end of their playful banter.

"You're not going to get any better if you don't treat it properly." Taehyung said in a soft voice that also contained a firmness to it to which Jeongguk made a comment on how he sounded like his mother. "Well she's right. How long since you were diagnosed now?"

"Shouldn't you know that?" He knew he sounded snappy but he always disliked people telling him what he should and shouldn't do.

"Jeongguk."

Jeongguk waited for the other to continue but when it didn't come he sat up with a long exhale. "Fine. I'm going—"

"Show me." He made a questioning noise at this but his unspoken question was answered when his mobile made a familiar sound signalling that the other was wanting to facetime. He accepted immediately and was met with a sleepy face, hair askew as if the other had already been laying around in bed which wouldn't be a surprise considering the time. "Walk me to where the goods are birthday boy."

Jeongguk rolled his eyes to which he got a scolding to then slowly got up and made his way across his decently neat room and out into the hallway where he had to navigate himself with his palm against the wall as it was pitch black. Taehyung had pouted on the screen and told him he was sad that he couldn't see his sickly pale face. Wasn't he sweet.

"Hey douche, I make sickly pale handsome."

"Don't know if I want to groan or be happy that you think so highly of yourself."

"You're an ass." Jeongguk said with a scoff and switched on the light when he reached the kitchen. He had to blink a few times to adjust before he reached the counter and propped his phone up against the wall then moved away to bend down and rummage through the cabinets on the opposite side.

"I'll take it as a compliment. I've got a good ass." Jeongguk almost scoffed again before Taehyung filled the small silence with something close to an appreciative hum. "You're ass isn't too bad either." The words made him turn around on his heel so fast that he had to grab hold of the counter for support and he glared at the phone's small camera.

"Pervert."

He watched Taehyung's lips stretch into a wide smile then lean back in what he assumed was his desk chair. "Pervert? Nah. I just like to appreciate the good things in life."

Jeongguk shook his head in amusement. In any other occasion he'd be stammering and blushing like an idiot but with Taehyung it felt easy. They'd only been talking for almost two months now but they kicked it off from the beginning, minus all the years of only ever stealing glances at each other. What a waste of time that was.

"So, you got something? I don't want you passing out on me, man." In answer, Jeongguk held up a bag of chips that he managed to grab just before he had his ass blatantly checked out.

Later that night, or rather morning, -3:45 am to be exact- after having ended their facetime, Jeongguk lay in bed staring at the ceiling with a smile on his face that he just couldn't seem to get rid of.

 

It was another usual day of high school. Another day of being cornered by a pair of annoying jocks and this time he only had to step foot into the school gates before he was already being pushed around. Jeongguk could fight back, stand his ground, god knows he was probably the same build as them perhaps stronger yet he wasn't one for violence so instead he'd stand there and take it and maybe he was too shy but he wasn't about to admit that. At least it was never too bad, a few shoves and crude words thrown his way. It was just annoying. It was amazing how he hadn't snapped yet but wasn't that just what the bullies wanted, a reaction?

"You got that homework I asked you to do for me?" Jeongguk ignored the tallest boy as he attempted to push past them but was caught instead by surprise when a hand gripped the back of his hoodie and yanked him back. "Cough it up." He stayed silent and it resulted in him having a stare off with the boy. "Do I have to ask twice?"

Jeongguk sighed and broke the stare off, opting to look down at his shoes instead. "You never gave me homework to do." The boy gave him an incredulous look and before he could comprehend what was happening his bag was being pulled from his shoulders roughly by the guy behind him, zipped open and turned upside down. He watched with his lips parted as it's contents spilled onto the dirt covered ground. People all around stopped in whatever they had been doing to watch the commotion and all Jeongguk wanted to do was either hide or run away.

"Don't talk back to me. Did he just talk back to me?" He looked up to see the boys fellow goons nodding with a few grunts of agreement that made Jeongguk sigh again. "And lookie here. Seems Jeonggukie has a thing for... drugs?" His heart fell when he watched the guy pick up one of his runaway insulin needle pens and tap the liquid compartment with his index and thumb like a nurse would do before giving a needle shot. "Guess the quiet ones usually turn out junkies. I'm not surprised." He tossed the needle across the courtyard then kneeled down to retrieve a text book titled 'Geography'. "I'll be needing this." The boy flashed him an all too fake smile as he stood and hit the book upside his head. "Now that wasn't so hard hm?"

He stood staring at the three boys retreating backs as they departed before he kneeled down and lazily piled his things back into his backpack. The people who had stopped to watch seemed to be uninterested now. Figures. "Douche bags."

"I agree," Jeongguk whipped his head around fast to see a male with a soft smile. A smile that seemed to equally match his soft features. He had never seen this guy around school before. He was shorter than himself as he came to notice as he stood up and shrugged his bag back on his shoulders. He was dressed nicely in fitted black slacks accompanied by a slightly oversized white dress shirt that was tucked into one side of his pants. He had blonde hair that was pushed back off his forehead and a noticeable pink tinge to his cheeks that Jeongguk presumed was caused from the cold. The pink tinge matched the colour of the boys plump lips. In his distraction, it took him a moment to realise the guy was holding out his hand, his insulin pen clutched in his fingers.

"Oh. Uh, sorry. Thank you." Jeongguk avoided the others gaze as he accepted the pen and shoved it into his jeans pocket causing the blonde haired boy to laugh. It sounded more like a soft giggle.

"No problem. Insulin right?" Jeongguk met his eyes briefly before looking down again though showed his affirmation with a nod. "Yeah, they're just not educated. Though I admit I wasn't either until my friend gave me nearly a whole life lesson on the topic of Diabetes and it's types— hey speak of the devil!"

"No way," Oh. He knew that voice anywhere and that boy definitely didn't claim himself to be a devil but rather an angel. His guardian angel. "Gukkie!" Jeongguk turned around to the sight of a grinning Taehyung approaching them. "You go to school here? Small world huh." Taehyung was also dressed nicely in black slacks and a blue and black pinstriped button up shirt that was tucked neatly into the waist of his pants followed by a dark blue coat that measured almost to ankle in length. His hair however was the same style, messy yet attractive and sitting on his nose was a pair of thin circular glasses.

"Gukkie? Wait... Jeongguk?" The boy who had rescued his insulin let out an exaggerated gasp. "This is the guy you always talk about? The Jeongguk?"

"How many Jeongguk's do you think I know?" Taehyung laughed and nudged him on the shoulder lightly. "Good to see you somewhere other than a hospital or from the screen of my phone."

It was true. The two hadn't seen each other in person since the hospital waiting room, only ever seeing each other through the safety of a electronic device and he shouldn't feel like this. Not after so many long conversations with the boy. He felt clammy and his heart just didn't want to calm down to a normal rate. He was suddenly struck with just how damn shy he actually was.

Jeongguk came to learn that Taehyung was here with other students from college to share their various courses with the high school students to give them an outlook on their futures and the blonde haired boy was Taehyung's friend who he soon found out to be named Jimin. It explained why they were both dressed presentable.

Jeongguk knew Taehyung was doing a Bachelor In Arts and it deeply excited him that he would finally be able to see a piece of his work for Taehyung would usually grow nervous to show him when they video called. He made a mental note to tease him later on how he'd let a whole class of school view his artwork but wouldn't let him alone see it.

When he got to the olders booth however, he was met with something he never expected. For someone who was all smiles and bubbly, his artwork was the complete opposite.


End file.
